Valley Winter Song

by Adam Schlesinger

Hey Sweet ——, don't take it so bad
You know the summer's coming soon
Though the interstate is choking under salt and dirty sand
And it seems the sun is hiding from the moon

Your daddy told you when you were a girl
The kind of things that come to those who wait
So give it a rest, girl, take a deep breath, girl
And meet me at the Bay State tonight

And the snow is coming down
On our New England town
And it's been falling all day long
What else is new?
What could I do?
I wrote a valley winter song
To play for you

And late December can drag a man down
You feel it deep in your gut
Short days and afternoons spent pottering around
In a dark house with the windows painted shut

Remember New York staring outside
As reckless winter made its way
From Staten Island to the Upper West Side
Whiting out our streets along the way

And the snow is coming down
On our New England town
And it's been falling all day long
What else is new?
What can I do?
But sing this valley winter song
I wrote for you

No Better Place

by Adam Schlesinger

Is that supposed to be your poker face
Or was someone run over by a train?
You're minding your own business
But you're begging for forgiveness just the same
And it's running back and forth inside your mind
Just how that town defined you
Dressed you up, painted on your face
And now you're leaving New York
For no better place

You're awake and trying not to be
Wrapped around your pillow like a prawn
The nighttime's wrapped around you
Will be until it drops you on the dawn
From the C train to the shiny tower
Kicked around till happy hour found you
Where you can drink that smirk right off your face
And now you're leaving New York
For no better place

And here is your reflection
In a building uptown
A ghost inside some Madison Avenue display
Like water under bridges
You're slowly passing by
So you sail between the rooftops and the sky

The bourbon sits inside me
Right now I'm a puppet in its sway
And it may be the whiskey talking
But the whiskey says I miss you every day
So I taxi to an all-night party
Park me in the corner in an old chair
Sip my drink and stare out into space

New Routine

by Adam Schlesinger

Two men sit in the corner of a diner
Both of them look quite a bit like Carl Reiner
One of them is smoking even though the sign says not to
The waitress says to stop, he says, 'sorry but I've got to'
Tell each other jokes that they both know that they both know
They talk about real estate, prostates, Costco

And when they finish up they leave a twenty on the table
The waitress picks it up with the half-eaten bagels
And when her shift is over she goes back to Mineola
Sits on the couch, opens up a diet cola and says

'I'm so, I'm so sick of this place
'I'm so ready for a change of pace
'I'm just looking for a new routine'
So she spins her globe
And the next thing you know
She's living in Liechtenstein

She doesn't speak German, only high school Spanish
But within a few weeks she discovers she can manage
But there's not much going on except for banking and skiing
So she breaks up with the man that she just started seeing
He drops her at the airport in a diesel Mercedes
Thinks to himself, 'I'm so feeble with the ladies, and I

'I'm so, I'm so sick of this place
'I'm so ready for a change of pace
'I'm just looking for a new routine'
So he grabs his cap
Throws a dart at a map
And now he's living in Bowling Green

He talks his way into a job at La Quinta
Falls for the manager who's moving back to Canada
She's tried Roanoke, Reykjavik, Rome
Says 'you're really sweet but I just want to go home'

Two men sit in the corner of a diner
One of them says 'I might take a trip to China'
It's one of those things we should do before we're too old
Thanks but no thanks, bring me back an egg roll
Bring it back